When NASA announced in February that it had discovered a new solar system, it was met with both curiosity and apprehension. Known as the TRAPPIST-1 Galaxy, this series of seven planets orbits around a star, and at least three of those planets are thought to be inhabitable.
Perhaps the most interesting — and frightening — news to come since the new galaxy’s discovery is the unearthing of alienus vespa or, quite literally, “alien wasp.”
These larger-than-normal wasps not only have the facial similarities of commonly sketched aliens, but their genetic makeup is otherworldly as well. For years Catseye Pest Control has fielded complaints from customers about abnormal wasp activity from this hybrid version of the standard wasps we are used to seeing. Once their nest was located and removed, our customers would call back saying a new one appeared within hours of our visit.
It has been found that when mammals are stung by Alien Wasps, the peptides and enzymes in the newly discovered pest’s venom spill cellular content into the blood stream that turns into geo-locating serum. This serum serves as a long-term tracking device. Scared yet?
People who have been stung have reported abnormal swelling, pale blue shading in the area of the sting, nausea, blurred vision, and extreme itchiness. Alien Wasps will often venture out of the nest and sting unprovoked. Upon further research and investigation by BEE, the Bureau of Environmental Extraterrestrials, it has been determined that these Alien Wasps were genetically engineered, and likely sent to Earth by inhabitants of TRAPPIST-1.
In response, Catseye Pest Control developed a highly technical infrared laser tool that can identify the Alien Wasps and doesn’t alert them to abnormal activity. Since Alien Wasps possess the ability to morph into the typical stature of a yellow jacket, or whichever wasp species they co-habitate with, it has been extremely challenging to identify them with 100 percent certainty.
The Cat’s Eye allows our trained technicians to identify and remove Alien Wasps from wherever they are without disrupting them. If the wasps sense disruption, they will disguise themselves as a regular wasp and flee to a separate shelter. The Cat’s Eye allows us the ability to uncover activity within walls, nests, and underground spaces, without the Alien Wasps taking notice. The Cat’s Eye is an innovative form of spyware and will prove useful not only in uncovering these wasps but also termites, rodents, and any other pests that dwell in attics and behind sheetrock.
This current situation regarding Alien Wasps is not to be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is concerned that these pests may be present at your home, please contact us immediately.
And always remember; APRIL FOOLS!